Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
