guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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