I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
we're so committed to being not committed
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
