We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
NoShamevember. You game?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
