DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
