you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Im part way to drunk.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
