what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
