how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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