think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
