I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
