I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
