I'm lost and stupid without you.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
