You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
