is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
