she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
