To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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