how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
