I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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