Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
