I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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