i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Still dying that you shit outside
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize
