I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
