also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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