The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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