Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
