There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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