What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
