Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
