You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I touched a dick in church today
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
