38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
