I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
