Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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