My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
