we're blogging at a bar
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
