i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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