Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize