It's like God shit irony all over that family
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
