I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
