Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
