After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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