chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
