I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Pooping to opera.
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