It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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