Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
