I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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