Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
