ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Semen is not good for contacts.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
