I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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