this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
