Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
