is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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